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Wednesday, January 30, 2008

A New me

My marriage of thirteen years ended with my discovery that he had contracted a previous marriage before ours. The first few years of raising the children without their father was very difficult, but i tried not to show it to them. There were countless nights when i pretended asleep beside them but i was crying a lot. In shower, my tears would drain along with the water. Crying had been my refuge. One of my friends noticed how depressed i look. After talking to her, she told me to stop torturing myself and move on with my life. She told me to go out and keep myself busy, and read books or magazines to take my mind off my probs. She suggested chatting on the net, saying that it would help me emotionallyand physically.

After office hours, i would go home immediately, prepare our dinner, and would leave immediately for the internet cafe. I was hooked! I've become happy again, smarter and confident. A lot of people on the chatting world are lewd, so i would end up quarreling with them. Only a few are honest and civilized and some of them offered for marriage. Maybe i'm not ready yet to enter a married life that was once wrought with fear and havoc. I told myself i have to be very careful this time again, as i could not take another failed marriage. I have learned so much with what i have been through. Because of my strong disposition now, I can only feel sad about my yesterday, but tears don't well my eyes anymore because i know, God loves me and He is gonna give the right man for me, in time.

1 comment:

irish said...

Sad story. But you did the right thing. Keep moving forward. You can do it.